Progress

I did fairly well the week. I listened to conference talk la and chapters in the Book of Mormon every work day, wrote in my journal 3 times, and prayed before bed most nights. I like these goals and feel they are really benefiting me. I want to get back to where I was earlier this year, but I am loving the process in the meantime. 

I am going to keep working on the same goals and track it again like I did before. Earning stickers is probably more fun for me than it should be at this age, but I’m ok with that. 

Success

 I prayed every night on my knees this week. There was one day where I didn't really say anything. Most of the time, I only said whatever was clear in my head. Sometimes it was half a sentence. I feel better. I'm going to keep this goal this week. 

Work in Progress

This week wasn't too bad. I listened to a talk and chapter in the Book of Mormon every work day. I also wrote in my journal three times. I seem to struggle with the prayers. I don't know why. I love praying. I have had a testimony of prayer longer than anything else. 

I am going to keep the same goals this week and focus on prayer. 

Doing better

 I'm feeling much better this week. I got several more confirmations about getting released from my callings and today the bishop called me in to give me an official release and he was completely different. He was supportive and concerned. I really feel like the Lord changed his heart. He asked me more questions about how I was doing spiritually and then challenged me to pray on my knees. I told him that it's hard for me because when I do that, it's like a signal to my brain and my thoughts get chaotic and I just end up crying and can't think straight. He told me that pouring my heart out to God may just be me crying. He knows my heart and I don't have to have the words. That was really meaningful to me. I really feel like God spoke to him this week and it's been amazing. I really feel seen my the Lord. So my goal this week is to pray on my knees every day. Even if I just cry. 

Better

I did better this week. I listened to a conference talk six days. (One was while preparing my lesson for today, but that counts.) I listened to a chapter of the Book of Mormon five days. I prayed almost every day. I journaled 3 days. 

I like that I am getting better at this again. It is crazy how hard it is to get back on track when I lapse on my habits. 

Dead

 I feel spiritually dead. I have felt pretty empty for a while now. Now that I'm in primary, I don't get filled spiritually like I used to by going to Sunday School or Relief Society. I've been too exhausted to do much at home. I haven't been to the temple since March and I've just been empty. 

Last week, after prayer and a confirmation from the Spirit through a Sacrament talk, I told the bishop I was empty and needed to be released from my callings. Without missing a beat, he said that my blessings would be withheld if I didn't serve. We talked about other things, and he passively aggressively threatened to take away my temple recommend. 

Needless to say, it certainly did not help my situation. I have felt like garbage all week. 

My goals this week are to read from my verse-a-day book and say my prayers. 

Some Improvement

I did better this week. I am still not to where I was a few weeks ago, but I was better than the week before. I really need to work on my prayers and journaling. I also need to implement "Come, Follow Me" in some way. 

I am basically keeping the same goals this week. In the morning, I will listen to a conference talk and chapter in the Book of Mormon, pray, and write in my journal.  At night, I will do "Come, Follow Me" in some way (I have already set up an "appointment" in my calendar for this).