Saturday, March 12, 2016

Steadfast and Immovable

I have had many occasion to ask myself if I am steadfast and immovable in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that for the last few years I have not been. I have allowed myself to be swayed by the logical arguments of family members who do not believe in God or they don't believe in the LDS teachings. I have felt so much confusion and unrest in my soul. It has been a very difficult time for me. I thought that the unrest was because I did not understand the teachings and questioned the truthfulness of the LDS teachings. But as I have spend more time in reflection and more time doubting my doubts and not my faith, I have felt the power and influence of the Holy Spirit, once again, in my life. 

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught (Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Juvenile Instructor, 15 Aug. 1892, 492): "When we joined this Church we enlisted to serve God. When we did that we left...neutral ground, and we never can get back on to it. Should we forsake the Master we enlisted to serve it will be by the instigation of the evil one, and we will follow his dictation and be his servant" 

Joseph Smith was exactly right! I am either on God's team, or I'm on the devil's. So much peace has returned to my life since I decided to be steadfast and immovable as I was taught in the scriptures. It has been a wonderful blessing and I have experienced more peace and miracles in my life since. I wonder why I ever felt the need to question.

Part of it is the need to fit in or to be seen as intelligent by my family. But I realize now, that I'm OK with not fitting in. I have to choose Christ, or I have to choose my family. I hope and pray that my family will join with me but in order for that to happen, they have to know that I know. I want my children to know that I know. I want Christ to be the center of my home and my life and I want everyone else to know that as well. So instead of wasting so much time questioning, I am going to put my time in to strengthening my testimony and learning the gospel so that I can share without a doubt. 

I am so thankful for the scriptures, church, and my religion courses I get to take online. I have grown so much.  In Jeremiah 33:3 it says, "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and she thee great and mighty things, which though knows not." I really cherish these teaching moments from the Lord. 

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