Exhausting

This has been an incredibly exhausting week. I allowed myself to get caught up in political things on Facebook again.Ugh!!! Because of that, my heart has not been right to receiving revelation or feeling the peace of the Spirit. I had a Reiki session this week too (energy work). I've never had it done before so I wasn't sure what to expect. It was really eye opening and I've been flushing out emotionally since last Thursday when I did it. I've felt very subdued and thoughtful. It's been good for me spiritually because I have felt more desire to feel His presence.

On Thursday night, my youngest son also told me that he was gay. I've kind of suspected for quite a while now but didn't want to assume based on stereotypes. I've been on a roller coaster of emotions since then. When he told me I almost felt giddy with excitement, which is strange. I do feel like Heavenly Father has been preparing me for this for the last 25 years. I also felt very relieved. It's something I've been worried about for some years and now that I know for sure, I feel like I can let the worry go and move forward to process. Then that night as I knelt for my prayers I sobbed to my Heavenly Father. I felt I was in deep mourning. I cried again the next evening when I told John about it. My son was afraid to tell him and asked me to. I'm all over with my feelings and I'm trying to just be ok with whatever I am feeling about it.

Today my thoughts have been on the Lord ALL day. I have resolved myself to be more diligent in my scripture study. So that is what my goal will be focused on this week and probably for some time.

I will study with an actual book and journal every day. No more casually reading on my phone. That's fine for when I'm taking a walk or whatever but I need to really be IN the scriptures. I NEED my Heavenly Father.