WooHoo

Wow! I actually completed all my goals this week. Sort of. I had an interesting experience today. All week I've been thinking I need to read over my lesson I had to teach in Relief Society today. I have developed great anxiety over my calling in general. So much that it has made me physically ill. Well today was no exception. I read over the lesson part way on Friday night, then read the whole thing on Saturday, but I could not concentrate. I felt like I was reading the words but there was nothing there. I was distracted and frankly, I just didn't want to take the time to do it. So I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. stressing about it but not preparing. I just watched a movie instead. Of course, I didn't sleep well because I was worried about it. It's bad enough having to stand in front of people, but way worse when you don't even know what you're going to teach about. It. was. bad. So I jumped in the shower this morning and in the two minutes I had (the water was cold because my husband used all the hot water), I prayed. I told Heavenly Father that I knew I didn't deserve to ask Him to help me with my lessons because I didn't put any work into it. But I asked Him that He would at least help my have clarity with my speech so that what I did say didn't come out all befuddled like it usually does. I didn't ask for any special things other than that and that I would be moved to say whatever He would have me say.

When I got up today, I told the sisters about my anxiety and then I told them about what someone told me recently. That courage is the willingness to stand up and be seen. I wanted to overcome my irrational fear. So I moved the table aside. I usually feel better being hidden by the podium. But I moved the whole table out of the way and asked them to see me. I then held my head high and launched right in to the lesson by applying what I learned in my institute class last Thursday. It seemed to fit right in with the topic and it all seemed to flow really well. I talked, engaged, asked questions, they all participated. The energy was high and the Spirit was strong. It was by far the best lesson I've ever given. I don't say that to brag about myself by any means. I give all the credit and glory to my Heavenly Father, who in His infinite mercy saw fit to forgive me my lack of preparation and use me to pass the message He wanted everyone to hear.

God is GREAT!!!!!!

Oh, and I prayed every day, read my scriptures, and read my institute readings. By the way, I ended up not taking the Doctrines of the Plan of Happiness. I ended up taking Scripture Study: The Power of the Word. It's really awesome so far! Great choice on my part.

Everything is awesome!! I feel like this was a great Sabbath Day.

My goals for this week are:

• Institute readings
• Prayer
• Scripture Study
• Pass of my next one in Personal Progress

Happy Sabbath!!!