I can't believe it...

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I have posted. I think summers are hard because the schedules change and I get lazy.
It's been an interesting month for me. My anxiety about teaching Gospel Doctrine has been through the roof. After teaching for the third time it was more than I could bare. Hardly anyone showed up - which I took to mean that they didn't like me as a teacher and would attend on another week when another teacher taught (I only teach once a month). Also, there was almost no participation which means I have to find a way to teach entertainingly for an hour. It was brutal. I actually  was ready to ask to be released. I realized that even if I did ask, I would still have to teach at least one more time because my time was coming up again.
So I did what I should always do but often don't...I got on my knees and told my Heavenly Father how I was feeling. Then I told Him all the ways I was trying to be a good teacher. I told Him that I was really familiar with the lessons, that I felt like I was well prepared but when I went to talk - all my preparation went out the window and I couldn't remember anything. I told Him that I was trying to model my teaching after one of the other teachers who has been teaching for years. He is so awesome!! He is a real studier of the gospel and really knows his stuff.
But...after I mentioned that to my Heavenly Father I got a clear message from Him saying that I needed to teach MY way, not the other teacher's way. That I have to stop comparing myself because the Lord wants ME as a teacher for my unique ways and personality. So,  I looked online at the Teaching the Savior's Way book and reviewed that. Then I prepared my lesson and followed the Spirit in what I should focus on. When I taught last Sunday - I was just myself. It was soooooo awesome!! I felt so at ease. I wasn't nervous at all and there was so much participation! I only really touched on one concept and it kept us all talking the whole hour! It was probably the best lesson I have ever taught in my life!
I feel so blessed that the Lord likes ME! It was a good reminder that we all have something unique to offer. We aren't supposed to be like everyone else. I need to learn to trust my Heavenly Father more easily and more quickly. He knows what He's doing!

My goal this week is: To plan a scripture study plan for myself.

I feel like I'm floundering because I don't really know what to study other than one chapter at a time and frankly I'm bored with that. I also want to keep a study journal so that someday when I have to give a talk or I'm teaching, I have a resource to pull from.

Yay for Heavenly Father!